Nearly Forgot that This thing was here...

So i have forgotten about my blog that nobody reads, but i like to keep myself updated... for future reference of course...

well since it's been awhile I'll just dispense out a few watered down highlights thus far:
-we ended our field season with 8th place for guard, 7th for band...
-we started out second season, the song is called "colors" by Seal (the guy with the scars on his face and is dating Heidi Klum)
-We finished our Winter Concert last Thursday (and i must say i've gotten quite sick because of the whole ordeal)
-We also had our annual RWMA xmas party which was fun, haha yes... i can't say they were "good" memories, but definitely hilarious and worth wasting a few minutes discussing about.
-We started our Winter Break!!
-I finished all my xmas shopping
-ANNND, i couldn't wait and i was easily swooned to unwrap all my presents... and I am quite pleased with everything i got this year... especially the new laptop =] very cool

Thanks to everyone for their wonderful gifts, i LOVE them all even the yummy candycanes and baked goodies.

At church today, Jennifer brought up the quite ridiculous notion that of all people, I, was spoiled. And i have to say that she's absolutley correct... today it has been a very productive day in the material sense. I recieved everything that i've ever wanted that i could have (OH I was close to getting a Wii but someone took the very LAST one and the only PS3 i could find is about $1200) I got a new laptop, the pirates of the carribbean dvd, the justice league ps2 game, the zelda: twilight princess for gamecube, and the ipod-to-tape converter for my car, the madgab game, a giant paddle, a personalized blanket, lots of jewlery... i mean all i need is a new pair of sweats and i just got everything on my xmas wishlist...

and the scary thing is that that's not all... i didnt unwrap all of my gifts yet...


do i really deserve all this?

Which Shirt?

hmm... such a dilemma...

Those Last First Things

So we had our last first football game last Friday...
one of the many last first things that are headed my way.

it felt so good to perform again, and be there... even though i sat out for the last ending flag section POOOPOOO haha it's not that bad except i had to sit there kneeling the whole time, i thought my legs were going to have go through amputation because it hurt sitting there.

well it's my time to rest until EL SABRE section in that ridiculous beat of a song...
OY, but i'm kind of excited for it, but scared... excited but scared...
i'm not looking forward to the bruises and sore muscles... i need to sharpen my skills so i don't hit my head with my equipment like i do every year...

Oh which reminds me of October 14...
what is up with that?!

grr i can't believe that so much is going on on that day, however, i have to take my SATS and it's a competition day... so it really gives me no room to do much.

Well that's the day of our Homecoming, the Bamboozle Left concert (with hellogoodbye, dashboard confessional, sugarcult, Jack's mannequin, AND Cute is What We Aim FOR!!), and a friend's birthday.

Oh man this opportunity cost thing is really biting back isn't it?

The Best Years are the Last Years...

or so i hope.



Here we are again, the first day of school... however, now I'm a senior~
that went by so fast that my mind hasn't even caught up yet, it's as if time shifted into overdrive.

Classes are all right, no drama (like i ever have any... well sometimes... self drama mostly, because i'm like a little hermit in an ov ersized shell), no problems, nothing at all... but i do feel tired most of the time, which isn't really good. I finally got no first period, but i threw it away to be my english teacher's TA, she sounded like she needed a lot of help and well there i was with no first period so i decided to lend a hand.

This is totally off topic, but like it matters this is my blog and i get to talk about whatever i want... don't EVER lose your green card, passport, social security number... oh man... i'm so screwed. But things are looking up, this past wednesday and today i went to the INS to try and get my greencard. I swear in those two days, just to try and get my fingerprints on document, it cost about $300 plus all that time i wasted in this past week and all those other days i wasted during the summer and last year (and most of the time were useless waiting around, or getting something from somwhere for some damn reason!) ugh... it really took everything out of me. It might not seem that tiring (heck, i even got to get out of school early on the first day and got to school late today) but sitting there and waiting and waiting and hearing people talk, asking me the same damn things over and over again (but i don't blame them, they're just doing their job, i just wished the process was faster and more efficient) it really kills the spirit.

I feel so handicapped, this has seriously screwed me over. I can't get my license without any identification of myself. I can't travel anywhere on a plane, let alone leave the country, I can't create a checking account (which my dad told me he's going to be depositing my money there which also means that i won't be getting money until i open my checking account, WHICH MEANS i need to get my license, and that's a problem... really.), i can't even buy myself a freakin rated R movie ticket... that is sooooo sad.

so i'm a little stressed out about a few things... if this thing blows over nicely from now on, i think i'll be ok... but if not, please stop me from jumping off a bridge.

I'm bored at 2 in the morning

Your Name Is?: crazy mary - fm static
How Old Are You?: Definitely Maybe - fm static
I Am Labled What?: christy's wedding - class of 98
Do You Think You're Messed Up?: Action - Blink 182
Your Family Thinks You Are?: wake up early - starflyer 59 (hardly...)
Friends think you are?: Starting Line - Number One Gun
Teachers (Past or Present) Think You Are?:Second Chances - October Fall
Strangers Say To You: lack of air - sunstreak
Your Mom: wolf in sheeps clothing - this providence (lol)
What song do you listen to when you're bored?: New York Minute - Butch Walker
Happy?: Sway - Pussy Cat Dolls
Sad?: We Intertwined - the hush sound
Excited?: the queen and i - gym class heroes
Lazy?: way away - yellowcard
Paranoid: ants - forgive durden
Your outlook on life is: Gone - Kelly Clarkson
The world is: Break it Off - Sean Paul
People are: There is a class for this - cute is what we aim for
Everday is: On and on - number one gun ('tis 'tis...)
Right Now You Are: Luckie St. - Cartel (i cant say i agree)
I Wish I Was: the good kind - michelle branch (aww that saddens me...)
Candy Is: No such thing - John Mayer
Love Is: Really Something - Aaron Sprinkle (aww...)
You Like: Good Foot - Justin Timberlake (lolol)
Are You In A Relationship?: SOS - Rihanna (haha)
If You've Ever Been In Love, How Was It: Dirty - C. Aguilera (lol)
Girls Or Guys?: Passive Agressive - the lonley hearts (ehh... that's a weird answer)

More Random Stuff
I Want:: the night life - the starting line (do i?)
I Need:: tilt ya head - nelly
It's Friday, I'm:: I'm Feeling You - Michelle Branch (ehh... hmm...)

Music
I Think Rap Is/Should/Was (etc.):: only once - yellowcard (haha)
Pop:: Poison like your own - Rookie of the Year (lol)
Rock:: Feel it - Black Eyed Peas
Punk:: With Love from Me to You - Watashi Wa
Ska:: Deja Vu - beyonce
Emo:: lights and sounds - yellowcard
Jazz:: the kill - 30 seconds to mars
Country:: the new american classic - taking back sunday (lol i think it already is...)
My Favorite Song Is:: spin - taking back sunday (not really...)
My Favorite Band/Musician Is:: You have my attention - copeland
Music Is:: how to save a life - the fray (AMEN)

Random
Poop Is:: fear of sleep - the strokes
Juice Boxes Are:: into the airwaves - jack's mannequin
Peter Pan Is:: words, hands, hearts - yellowcard
Michael Jackson Is:: buttons - PCD (crazy?)
Grab ahold and:: ain't no other man but you - C. Aguilera
If you were in a gang you'd:: lyrical lies - cute is what we aim for
Your gang would be called:: crazy - gnarls barkley (lol)

Questions
Do You Think The World Is Stupid?: Bad Day - Daniel Powter
How do you feel about people in general?: the one thing i have left - Hawk nelson (haha maybe...)
Are people hypocrites?: bruised - jack's mannequin
Labels are?: late show
Intelligence is: laughing at you - head automatica (haha i like how that sounds)
What do you wish you were doing?: make damn sure - tbs
Where do you wish you were?: ocean avenue - yellowcard (haha)
Your Thoughts On: War?: Promiscous - nelly furtado
Abortion?: so what - field mob
Gay Rights?: sexyback - justin timberlake (how fitting for a song like that...)
Freedom Of Speech?: switch - will smith
Aliens?: Photograph - tbs (yes i want proof!)
Immigrants?: over my head - the fray

These Bands/Musicians Are:
Skid Row: I'm real - starting line
Insane Clown Posse: electricityscape - the strokes
Britney Spears: juicebox - strokes
NeYo: vindicated - dashboard...
69 Eyes: walk away - kelly clarkson
Flyleaf: Everywhere - yellowcard
Nelly: You are so last summer - TBS (haha true true...)

More Crap
Currently You Are:: don't be so hard - the audition
Your Emotion Is:: Turn it up
The Time Is:: 100s and 1000s of stars - class of 98
My Belly Is:: terminal (oh... how scary...)
This survey is:: addicted - kelly clarkson
The Song Playing Now Is:: soldier - destiny's child

Vans Warped Tour 2006

Yesterday I attended the Van's Warped Tour for the first time. I must say, if I was there by myself, I wouldn't have known what was going on...

It was fun though! I went with Sam and her two friends Jessica and Tiffany. It was uber tiring, but i didn't notice that until the end of the day. I only got to really see four bands playing: Motion City Soundtrack, Hellogoodbye, The Academy Is, and Gym Class Heroes. They were all really good, well we were late for the Hellogoodbye show, but they were ok but I've seen them at their own shows two times already so i wasn't really paying attention. Academy is and Motion City Soundtrack were really good, i thought they would be bad live, but they proved me wrong. Wow they're good, with good stage pressence =]

Motion City SoundtrackHellogoodbye, forrest what a dork

Gym Class Heroes. I've heard their stuff last year, but i never expected them to get pretty popular (KIIS FM?!)

Academy Is. Blew me away. I loved them even more now.
Gnarls Barkeley was their as a surprise guest and also that guy from Fall Out Boy, not Patrick, they one with the dark short hair.

There's Sam trying to get some MONEY, well a ticket for free stuff.

Sam and I. We Got "tatoos"

All the stuff i bought and got for FREE

The Academy Is signed my bag WOO~

A fun day indeed, minus the major sunburn i got

Time to Jump on the Band Wagon...

ok so i seem to be only talking about the world cup online these days, but it's almost over anyway.

Final Four: Germany, Portugal, Italy, and France

I wouldn't be cheering for France if it wasn't for Thierry Henry.
He's such a great player,a real agressor, not to mention very handsome.
He beats David Beckham hands down!
too bad England got knocked out, and Argentina...
Oh i heard David quit the team? Or at least he won't be England's captain anymore. sad. Well there's always Rooney, he's freakin awesome.

Yes, Gernamy or France... win win win
2nd Germany
1st France

oh in other news...
i got a car. I forgot to take a picture of it so no picture, but it won't be a mystery. It's a white Honda CR-V. how random of me. actually, i was going to get the mazda 3 or 6, but my dad changed his mind without telling me, and i ended up with a honda. which is great! but it's still a mystery why i even got a car, a new car at that

Is This Proof?

bitch.

Just thinking about it makes me sooo angry.
I don't care that we lost...
I care about HOW we lost.

If it was a fair game, I would say we put up a good fight...
but that is far from what happened today. ARGGG

Yes, so the ref gave a few yellowcards to the swiss team, but WHEN did he give them those stupid crapcards? I wonder, was it during those korea's-about-to-kick-it-in-the-goal-until-you-stopped-them moments? Oh wait wait... i think it WAS
You know, do these refs go through some special referee school or something, because i think today's ref FAILED but somehow got through.

EVERY FREAKING PERSON KNOWS THAT YOU DON'T GIVE ANY PENALTIES DURING CRUCIAL KICKS UNTIL IT'S CERTAIN THAT THE BALL DIDN'T MAKE IT IN THE GOAL. HE FREAKING YELLOWCARDED SOMEONE WHEN WE KICKED OFF THE BALL (a corner kick too, a very crucial kick in the game) AND IT WAS IN MIDAIR. MIDAIR!!!! omg...

and do you know how many overlooked handballs there were in the game? Hmm... oh i don't know i kind of lost count after the 10th...

and as you see in the picture above...
i wonder what "offside" means to the swiss... do they think it's a free kick with no defensive players to get in their way except the surprised goalie?

Oh come on! The Korean soccer team are not full of retards, why didn't they defend their goal if it wasn't a freaking illegal shot?

AND you know despite all this, the Swiss coach said that they won fair and square.
And that if they could, they would have been able to kick in a third one...
"We know it's possible to go another round. And we feel like doing it. I'd rather have the three points than the cake"

yeah I would be confident too if the ref was on my side, and i hope you choke on your cake...

HUUULK MAAAADDDD

I've noticed that in the past, i've written very... how do i say... bitingly? As if I had a grudge against the world, very sarcastic, very cynical, and i used a lot of metaphors.

I think anger does fuel something that only anger can fuel. I'm not angry or anything, i'm just saying it does. Whatever THAT is. I think when your angry, it unleashes this part of your brain that usually doesn't open. Maybe that's why some artists are so bitter, because it keeps them "artistic".

When you're angry don't you think a lot faster, so fast that it jams. THEN that little blinking light goes off telling you that you're jammed. Then you get even MORE angry because of the fact that you are incabable of making any solutions because your mind is jammed, thus jamming your mind with more frustration

And by the time your able to undo and redo and undo your brain again, you are so exhausted that you just can't think any longer.

wow. Being angry bites.

But in some situations, being angry gives me sort of a "boost", actually more of a motivation. But there's a specific type of anger that fuels me to do better. I don't know which one it is, but it is.

Sometimes i just don't, or can't, do anything while i'm angry. I become irrational, and my mouth runs on its own, if you know what i mean. I literally start to fume from the head, and it really does feel like steam coming out from the ears. My brain, my abs, my whole digestive system starts to twist on the inside. My blood starts pumping. My feet start to curl. I'm not able to sit still, like a kid on amphetamines. My leg or my arm becomes "tingly". And I feel like I have enough man strength to wrestle a water buffalo (or at least mentally). Sometimes I really do think i can turn into the Hulk, or something equivalent to it. My voice and language definitely undergoes some kind of mutation.

So the solution... i can't live without being angry, what kind of human is that? But i guess i must try, and i think so far, i've been pretty good about keeping things under control, in the icepack, back in storage, up and over pressure. Sometimes i have my moments, but I've been less angry than i've ever been before.

and the difference that made it possible is that i tell my anger to people, i don't care if they're listening or not because they probably aren't, but STILL, at least i'm able to get stuff off my chest which keeps me healthy and stress-free for a little while longer. And those are the times when i go to sleep.

There are two reasons why I take a nap:

1) When all is right in the world and i know that i can finally take a break from it all
2) When all is in absolute disaster and i feel there is no immediate relief at the moment, so i have to lay down before i pop a blood vessel and lose my ability to see.

the only two times when i go take a nap.

Just a Day Left

Hmm Graduations were today.

I should've taken more chances this past school year. I should've taken more pictures with everyone. I've never felt this way before in the past years, but i guess i'm getting old or something. I'm getting all nostalgic almost.

I should've bought an yearbook every year.

hmm...

well i'm sure i'll get over it as soon as the summer starts, but really...
now i know what they mean by feeling the "what-ifs"

Haha how wierd, it's been lingering in the back of my mind this whole week, it's actually bothersome. I try to forget, but oh wow... i can't.

I'll just have to wait for the summer to start, TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY! =]

I should take up ballroom dancing. I should start yoga. I should listen to more music. I should go to more concerts. I should learn how to drive. I should watch more soccer with more enthusiasm. I should start early on summer assignments. I should plan everything ahead. I should go to the beach. I should try to obtain a fake id card and go out. I should go shopping. I should start to ACTUALLY take some SAT classes (even if it is only for a little bit), I should give blood, i should help people out, i should travel, i should go on a road trip, i should have a little romance, i should get a pet, i should get a hobby, i should practice my rifle/sabre/flag, i should pay attention, i should take more pictures, i should start scrapbooking, i should keep track of all my practices, i should keep track of everything else, I should go to the beach, i should go watch movies, i should go to a theme park, i should go hiking, i should go river rafting, i should go bungee jumping, i should go rock climbing, i should help out at home, i should get a job, i should get a car...

i should do a lot of things.

Kicking and Screaming

I don't want to go to school...
ugh my mind is out of the door, I practically sit through all six of my classes doing NOTHING
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

i can't believe i still have two more finals to finish, and they both are pretty crucial classes... but i know i'm going to fail them both and it's not going to drop me down a letter grade, there's a slim chance that it might raise my grade.

hmm...

What else is there for me to do besides that for school? Uh make my English portfolio and I'm done! I'm finished! HASTA LA VISTA BEHBEH

I act like I even have a life outside of school, what am I going to do? ROT away at home, thinking bitterly how I didn't get into Civics and Econ even though I turned my applications in pretty damn early... and probably wait for July 15 to roll around the corner so i could FINALLY go to the DMV... oh and Colorguard, but that's part of my OTHER life. Sort of an escape from this one... I'm seriously going to try to make something out of this summer. I'm gonna do something important, I'm not gonna stop world hunger or anything (even though it would be nice), but something.

hmm... yes. Something

The Taste of Money

Is Killer For Your Liver

I got a new digital camera today. Wow. I just needed a little thing that takes pictures, but my dad went all crazy and bought me a Sony 7.2 megapixel, that name itself is like $50.

yay?

And we also went car shopping. How exciting! I don't even have my license yet... I didn't buy anything, and i don't really plan to make a decision until maybe at the end of this month or so. Hmm... My dad wants to buy me a convertible mustang, and i want one too... however, the insurance itself would be WAY over my head. He also wants me to get an F150 or a Tundra, but how will i manage those? I mean the monthly gas cost would be around $300, plus my insurance would go up after crashing into lamposts and backing up into parked cars.

I'm thinking conservative.
hmm...

FIFA 2006 Germany

I watched my first two 2006 FIFA games today. WEEE how exciting. I wish I could go to Germany to watch it. I missed the England vs Paraguay, it was too early in the morning (I would've loved to see David Beckham, what a sexy man). I did watch Sweden vs. Trinidad <0,0> and Argentina vs. Ivory Coast <2,1>

Yeah-yuh GO ARGENTINA! they are so flowy, i love watching them

wow

Trinidad's goalie was freakin awesome, that and Sweden had the worst strategy i've seen in ages... they've never won their opening game since like the 70's. I wonder how they'll do against England, I REALLY REALLY want to watch that game. The seats are $3000, yeah, that's THREE zeros. I heard England just can't beat Sweden, it's a jinx... how weird

tomorrow: serbiaVSnetherlands mexicoVSiran angolaVSportugal

AHH it has started, and just in time for the summer!! AHHH i i wish i could go to Germany.

BLOG IT

xanga got overrated
lol
i'm so cliche, and you know you love it

what am i talking about? this is exactly like xanga, except somehow more sophisticated and better...

speaking of better,

I'm getting better from my cold... a cold that i got in the middle of this foresaken weather.
This was a quickie, i'm glad. I guess it was from all those projects and the end of the year EVERYTHING, it all just came tumbling down at me and i just couldn't handle it. Well, I did, but not with grace I tell you that.

WEE the year is almost over, the seniors are gone, the year is gone, the chance to improve myself is gone...

you know i realized how I messed up my future during my Junior year, i should have tried harder. Oh well, no use in crying over spilled milk. I'm sure things will get better, if not, then I'll just have to live harder and regret more than the average person.

How wonderful.