Is This Proof?

bitch.

Just thinking about it makes me sooo angry.
I don't care that we lost...
I care about HOW we lost.

If it was a fair game, I would say we put up a good fight...
but that is far from what happened today. ARGGG

Yes, so the ref gave a few yellowcards to the swiss team, but WHEN did he give them those stupid crapcards? I wonder, was it during those korea's-about-to-kick-it-in-the-goal-until-you-stopped-them moments? Oh wait wait... i think it WAS
You know, do these refs go through some special referee school or something, because i think today's ref FAILED but somehow got through.

EVERY FREAKING PERSON KNOWS THAT YOU DON'T GIVE ANY PENALTIES DURING CRUCIAL KICKS UNTIL IT'S CERTAIN THAT THE BALL DIDN'T MAKE IT IN THE GOAL. HE FREAKING YELLOWCARDED SOMEONE WHEN WE KICKED OFF THE BALL (a corner kick too, a very crucial kick in the game) AND IT WAS IN MIDAIR. MIDAIR!!!! omg...

and do you know how many overlooked handballs there were in the game? Hmm... oh i don't know i kind of lost count after the 10th...

and as you see in the picture above...
i wonder what "offside" means to the swiss... do they think it's a free kick with no defensive players to get in their way except the surprised goalie?

Oh come on! The Korean soccer team are not full of retards, why didn't they defend their goal if it wasn't a freaking illegal shot?

AND you know despite all this, the Swiss coach said that they won fair and square.
And that if they could, they would have been able to kick in a third one...
"We know it's possible to go another round. And we feel like doing it. I'd rather have the three points than the cake"

yeah I would be confident too if the ref was on my side, and i hope you choke on your cake...

HUUULK MAAAADDDD

I've noticed that in the past, i've written very... how do i say... bitingly? As if I had a grudge against the world, very sarcastic, very cynical, and i used a lot of metaphors.

I think anger does fuel something that only anger can fuel. I'm not angry or anything, i'm just saying it does. Whatever THAT is. I think when your angry, it unleashes this part of your brain that usually doesn't open. Maybe that's why some artists are so bitter, because it keeps them "artistic".

When you're angry don't you think a lot faster, so fast that it jams. THEN that little blinking light goes off telling you that you're jammed. Then you get even MORE angry because of the fact that you are incabable of making any solutions because your mind is jammed, thus jamming your mind with more frustration

And by the time your able to undo and redo and undo your brain again, you are so exhausted that you just can't think any longer.

wow. Being angry bites.

But in some situations, being angry gives me sort of a "boost", actually more of a motivation. But there's a specific type of anger that fuels me to do better. I don't know which one it is, but it is.

Sometimes i just don't, or can't, do anything while i'm angry. I become irrational, and my mouth runs on its own, if you know what i mean. I literally start to fume from the head, and it really does feel like steam coming out from the ears. My brain, my abs, my whole digestive system starts to twist on the inside. My blood starts pumping. My feet start to curl. I'm not able to sit still, like a kid on amphetamines. My leg or my arm becomes "tingly". And I feel like I have enough man strength to wrestle a water buffalo (or at least mentally). Sometimes I really do think i can turn into the Hulk, or something equivalent to it. My voice and language definitely undergoes some kind of mutation.

So the solution... i can't live without being angry, what kind of human is that? But i guess i must try, and i think so far, i've been pretty good about keeping things under control, in the icepack, back in storage, up and over pressure. Sometimes i have my moments, but I've been less angry than i've ever been before.

and the difference that made it possible is that i tell my anger to people, i don't care if they're listening or not because they probably aren't, but STILL, at least i'm able to get stuff off my chest which keeps me healthy and stress-free for a little while longer. And those are the times when i go to sleep.

There are two reasons why I take a nap:

1) When all is right in the world and i know that i can finally take a break from it all
2) When all is in absolute disaster and i feel there is no immediate relief at the moment, so i have to lay down before i pop a blood vessel and lose my ability to see.

the only two times when i go take a nap.

Just a Day Left

Hmm Graduations were today.

I should've taken more chances this past school year. I should've taken more pictures with everyone. I've never felt this way before in the past years, but i guess i'm getting old or something. I'm getting all nostalgic almost.

I should've bought an yearbook every year.

hmm...

well i'm sure i'll get over it as soon as the summer starts, but really...
now i know what they mean by feeling the "what-ifs"

Haha how wierd, it's been lingering in the back of my mind this whole week, it's actually bothersome. I try to forget, but oh wow... i can't.

I'll just have to wait for the summer to start, TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY! =]

I should take up ballroom dancing. I should start yoga. I should listen to more music. I should go to more concerts. I should learn how to drive. I should watch more soccer with more enthusiasm. I should start early on summer assignments. I should plan everything ahead. I should go to the beach. I should try to obtain a fake id card and go out. I should go shopping. I should start to ACTUALLY take some SAT classes (even if it is only for a little bit), I should give blood, i should help people out, i should travel, i should go on a road trip, i should have a little romance, i should get a pet, i should get a hobby, i should practice my rifle/sabre/flag, i should pay attention, i should take more pictures, i should start scrapbooking, i should keep track of all my practices, i should keep track of everything else, I should go to the beach, i should go watch movies, i should go to a theme park, i should go hiking, i should go river rafting, i should go bungee jumping, i should go rock climbing, i should help out at home, i should get a job, i should get a car...

i should do a lot of things.

Kicking and Screaming

I don't want to go to school...
ugh my mind is out of the door, I practically sit through all six of my classes doing NOTHING
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

i can't believe i still have two more finals to finish, and they both are pretty crucial classes... but i know i'm going to fail them both and it's not going to drop me down a letter grade, there's a slim chance that it might raise my grade.

hmm...

What else is there for me to do besides that for school? Uh make my English portfolio and I'm done! I'm finished! HASTA LA VISTA BEHBEH

I act like I even have a life outside of school, what am I going to do? ROT away at home, thinking bitterly how I didn't get into Civics and Econ even though I turned my applications in pretty damn early... and probably wait for July 15 to roll around the corner so i could FINALLY go to the DMV... oh and Colorguard, but that's part of my OTHER life. Sort of an escape from this one... I'm seriously going to try to make something out of this summer. I'm gonna do something important, I'm not gonna stop world hunger or anything (even though it would be nice), but something.

hmm... yes. Something

The Taste of Money

Is Killer For Your Liver

I got a new digital camera today. Wow. I just needed a little thing that takes pictures, but my dad went all crazy and bought me a Sony 7.2 megapixel, that name itself is like $50.

yay?

And we also went car shopping. How exciting! I don't even have my license yet... I didn't buy anything, and i don't really plan to make a decision until maybe at the end of this month or so. Hmm... My dad wants to buy me a convertible mustang, and i want one too... however, the insurance itself would be WAY over my head. He also wants me to get an F150 or a Tundra, but how will i manage those? I mean the monthly gas cost would be around $300, plus my insurance would go up after crashing into lamposts and backing up into parked cars.

I'm thinking conservative.
hmm...

FIFA 2006 Germany

I watched my first two 2006 FIFA games today. WEEE how exciting. I wish I could go to Germany to watch it. I missed the England vs Paraguay, it was too early in the morning (I would've loved to see David Beckham, what a sexy man). I did watch Sweden vs. Trinidad <0,0> and Argentina vs. Ivory Coast <2,1>

Yeah-yuh GO ARGENTINA! they are so flowy, i love watching them

wow

Trinidad's goalie was freakin awesome, that and Sweden had the worst strategy i've seen in ages... they've never won their opening game since like the 70's. I wonder how they'll do against England, I REALLY REALLY want to watch that game. The seats are $3000, yeah, that's THREE zeros. I heard England just can't beat Sweden, it's a jinx... how weird

tomorrow: serbiaVSnetherlands mexicoVSiran angolaVSportugal

AHH it has started, and just in time for the summer!! AHHH i i wish i could go to Germany.

BLOG IT

xanga got overrated
lol
i'm so cliche, and you know you love it

what am i talking about? this is exactly like xanga, except somehow more sophisticated and better...

speaking of better,

I'm getting better from my cold... a cold that i got in the middle of this foresaken weather.
This was a quickie, i'm glad. I guess it was from all those projects and the end of the year EVERYTHING, it all just came tumbling down at me and i just couldn't handle it. Well, I did, but not with grace I tell you that.

WEE the year is almost over, the seniors are gone, the year is gone, the chance to improve myself is gone...

you know i realized how I messed up my future during my Junior year, i should have tried harder. Oh well, no use in crying over spilled milk. I'm sure things will get better, if not, then I'll just have to live harder and regret more than the average person.

How wonderful.