I guess it's almost time, Everything is starting to irk

I really believe there are only a couple key things that rub me the wrong way... to the point that leads me to write about it, rant about it...

Today I'm only going to rant about one of those things...

Hypocrites.

It makes me cringe whenever somebody uses that word. I've noticed throughout my short lived life, that people who use that word are the biggest hypocrites themselves. (I know i've totally contradicted myself, but if that was your initial thought, I also have a bone to pick with you, but that's another story)

Now it's not that you CAN'T use that word in front of me, go ahead, the word itself doesn't bother me at all. It bothers me when you mean it, actually... to be more specific... when you use it with another intention rather than trying to help a person become a better person.

For example, I believe, some people are incapable of seeing their own flaws if it isn't pointed out to them (for who knows what complexes they have). Maybe they really are a hypocrite, they live a life of a... an American Patriot! However, they are actually a Neo-Nazi leader. Something like that. Even though I am not one to point out your flaws (for my own cowardice sake), but it really makes me hold my tongue when that word is being tossed around.

Do they even know the meaning of hypocrisy? I'm going to take it back, way back to the translation in the Old Testament. Hypocrisy means being "godless" and "profane" (thank you wikipedia). I knew in the back of my mind that being a hypocrite couldn't just possibly mean "not practicing what you preach". BECAUSE, we are all guilty of that in some way, shape, or form. So in order for Jesus to get so angry at people being a "hypocrite", it really makes no sense that a hypocrite "simply" doesn't practice what he preaches. Because then, Jesus would hate all of us.

AND that is why I would never call a person a hypocrite UNLESS it is in a religious term. I also loathe fact that this word is used out of context, and used to bring people down and be defaced.

A hypocrite, according to the French, are those who hide their true intentions and personalities. And I feel that is correct, those who use the word "hypocrite" to deface others are in turn, the biggest hypocrite of them all.

(note: i wasn't called a hypocrite, that isn't why I'm frustrated)
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wow that felt good to get that off my chest.

Ohio teen convicted of killing mom over video game

our world needs a lot of prayer, nothing new... but still
you'd think...

I have lived for almost two decades

It's strange how i feel... the same? But I've been feeling like i should've been twenty for awhile.
I kind of wish to be 20 forever (along with 95% of the world population, i leave the 5 for percent errors)

I really like the feeling of or the state of mind that I believe that I'm invincible. Disease, accidents, and all the other stuff isn't really part of my life equation. I love it. Death has no hold on me... yet. I do think about sometimes, for some reason I really do think I'll go in a car accident. Shh. Kind of like James Dean, maybe while I'm young and reckless. Haha, i should be careful of what I say, or at least that's what my mom tells me.

So i've already broken two out of two new year's resolution that I made. -__-; But I shouldn't give up now. I have this problem when my plans are ruined, i just scrap the whole thing.

hmm... i have a lot of problems now that I think about it.

What's been really holding me together so far are these two songs...
Brooke Fraser - Faithful
Mae - Last Call

I really like the line "an opera at a disco, when all you wanted was a rock show"
I find that really close to home...

Another thing just hit me upside the head
right now is the youngest I'll ever be

I wonder what I'm doing with my life, the first few weeks of my winter break has been absolutely hectic. I seriously felt like I was running on a treadmill not knowing where the slow down button is and just continually going with the flow, because if not, I'll fall face down eating the lovely rubber treads. lovely. rubber. treads.

I may be the youngest I'll ever be right now, but I'm also the most broke i've ever been! wow. I really can't even say anything about it... I'm so broke. Yet i still spend money, because I seriously cannot NOT spend money. What's wrong with me? It's seriously easier said than done. How could i NOT spend money? I guess I can live like a hermit for a couple weeks... but what of my winter break? This is the ONLY time i won't have any projects. ONLY TIME. I need this (or so i tell myself). But i think i've been doing pretty well lately, living on twenty bucks a day... it's an improvement.

God has not failed me nor broken his promise, I am physically out of resources BUT somehow there has always been a way for me to get things done. I guess this is a lesson I am currently learning... a real humbling experience to tell you the truth and this is forcing me to sort of stop and get some real business done instead of my head floating around in the clouds.

time for me to make as many mistakes as possible.